she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I found your pet lobster in the bathroom this morning. I went to return it to you but it escaped.
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
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