So drunk its hurt
I just ate 10 fun sized 3 musakteers.. I'm pretty sure I'm about to start my period.
Talk to you next week
they just started talking about wanting to bang stephanie tanner from full house
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
my mom just asked me about sexting and if I have ever sent a naked picture to anyone. i fucking hate fox news.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
HAPPY NEWYEARSM FAGTRON! GETTING HEAD IN TAXI I WIN
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
Randomize
