i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
Dick very happy bro
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I think my FWB just broke up with me and i don't know how I feel about that
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize