You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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