So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
pop tarts are not kleenex
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I would seriously fuck her so hard, her contacts would pop out of her eyes.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
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