Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
We can get high as fuck when there are no orders. If not its cool. I just figured Take Your Blunt Buddy To Work Day.
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Randomize
