sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
I show up hung over with mcdonalds. Why wouldn't he have sex with me? It's a fucking leap year...
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Randomize
