He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
so i just googled the prescription for aldara i saw on your desk this morning...
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
We were just at different life stages. He wanted to get married and have kids, I wanted to take MDMA and fuck my roommate.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
So last night, I bought mother's day cards and the Plan B pill.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Randomize
