I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I swear that when I have my own bathroom, I'm gonna lock myself in there and masterbate for at least 3 days in sheer appreciation of it.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
I guess I just laid down next to him with the entire pot of mac n cheese and started giving him a handie with one hand and eating with the other
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Randomize
