She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
they're like a gay fantastic four
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
You said that when your ex gave you a blowjob her mouth was like velvet
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
Randomize
