i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
In the middle of me riding him, he stopped me and said "You're the kind of person who would be restrained for being obnoxiously drunk on an airplane, huh?"
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
