I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Even with help how did you paint a bullseye around your asshole?
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
Randomize
