the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
if you lined all their dicks up next to eachother, it would be like at&t bars
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
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