it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
That birthday blow job you ordered came in the mail today. I suggest you hurry home.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
You were leaning against a fire hydrant asking people if they wanted to buy free pocket peanuts from you.
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
