Wow so 15 missed calls, a vm AND a text saying come downstairs? ...And where is downstairs? Explain.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
he tried to do a one handed cartwheel to showoff but knocked himself out cold. fuckin jagerbombs will kill that man.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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