Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
Is there a reason there's a dick print on my seventh-story window?
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
Randomize
