just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
I'm at the grocery store buying monistat and corn nuts. thank god for self check out.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
Randomize