peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
don't read that magazine bro. I came in it
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
This beer is not sobering me up at all
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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