Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
