why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I like to think of them as justice herpes. She cheats on me and gets more than she bargained for.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I just crashed on my couch and have no intention of ever getting up again
I will be over with a bedpan and beer
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Well... This is my last night at the resort. So far, the only thing that has been in my vagina is sand.
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
Well, I turned down sex again. This is guy #5 in the past 2 weeks. My vagina is going to seek emancipation.
Randomize
