i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I'm retiring my vagina. Better yet I'm Farve-ing it.
Def the best call fo sho
That way it can come out of retirement anytime and play for different teams. And it can wear Wranglers.
I'd like to apologize to your liver. It sees how much beer i drink and gets jealous of how awesome my liver is.
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
all I got out of honors convocation is I've hooked up with a lot of smart guys
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
