He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
He was lasting forever and I couldn't take it so I faked an asthma attack
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
Grandma cant send me 4 lbs of gummi bears and expect me not to soak them in some sort of alcohol
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
