You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Actions speak louder than pants.
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
Woke up handcuffed to a half gallon of beam. Yep. This is my life.
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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