We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
She almost killed me. The shot she handed me had tacks in it. Wtf?!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
