You look like a girl that would like strip clubs
LETS GET FUCKED UP IN ONESIES TONIGHT.
I worry about you sometimes...
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
If there was a god I would have a big mac right now, but i don't
Woke up at 4:30am to my little brother shaking me. Apparently I fell asleep naked on my kitchen table waiting for the toaster to pop. 2 years of college completed and i still havent learned my drinking limit...
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
After sex he just told me I'm definitely pregnant and it's a girl. Should I run?
You came in last night, ate an entire avocado in silence, and then told me I should never accept rides from strangers. Not sure I even want to know what happened to you last night!
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
Why do so many fanfic writers want to see hockey players get pregnant?
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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