I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
On the verge of sleeping with a man who can take me to an early bird dinner and a movie with his AARP discount. YOLO
Would it be considered cannibalistic if I wanted to eat off his bacon tattoo?
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
He said he didn't want to go down on me so I told him we were going to have an oral stalemate.
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I made it 1 week... 5 business days at my new job before sleeping with my coworker.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Randomize
