Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
I should probably stop opening conversations with 'guess who's horny'.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
WHY DID YOU DRUNK DIAL MY MOM?!
Because mine was sitting on the bar stool next to me...
Randomize
