i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
i caught a guy at work today stealing condoms. i let him go when i realized that they were extra small.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
Hindsight: maybe I should have included a few transitional texts in between talking about your son and my need to have sex. Do over?
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
As a BFF it is your duty to answer when I drunk call you at 3 in the morning because I couldn't find a knife to cut that cake. I finally found one, fell asleep with it and the cake in bed. K thanks bye.
Randomize
