Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
Randomize
