you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
So "Abstinence August" was a bust. Maybe I'll try for "Sex-free September" or "Only if we're facebook official October"
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
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