At least make sure they are 18
Why
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
Had a slight melanoma scare this morning. Spoiler alert, it was Nutella.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
tonight's safe word is brought to you by the phrase "Ahhhhhh"
Randomize
