he promised me brunch in the morning so i felt like it was ok....i really need to get a job.
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I smell like icyhot and vodka... Heres to my pulled tendon.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
Randomize
