Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
