And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
The only thing that makes a night with half a bottle of cheap vodka is the other half of that bottle of cheap vodka.
how does that bad decision feel?
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
