It is pretty awful out and I still haven't put on pants yet.
Ok im wearing a joe flacco jersey and full stick on unibrow and hardly anyone else dressed up omg
Omg suz!! take the unibrow off
No! im just getting hammered instead
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
Somebody was walking their dog with their car. seriously
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Were you citizens arresting people again last night?
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
