Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
I apologized to him for my lack of boobs after he felt me up
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
