If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
I was thinking about baking his mom "sorry you found out i was sleeping with your son" cupcakes
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
So we get back to the hotel room and Tom strips off his clothes... His first sexual act as my fiance? Helicopter dick. I gave him a high five.
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
He's very cute and has a totally sit-able face.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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