if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
The Fresno prostitute seemed offended all I wanted from her was directions back to the freeway.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
