Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
Weirdest conversation with my dad. He just told me he didn't shave his pubes.
I wish you could order shots online.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I'm in my bed. Snow angles in fresh sheets. don't even try to get me out tonight.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
