If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
so i used to love airports for the escalators... now its the bars... then the escalators after the bars
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
