ok understand this, i didn't pay for your dinner bc you said i wasn't going to get a blowjob for at least a month... this isn't a mail-in rebate deal, you gotta pay upfront
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize
