Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
I'm going to the store to get corona, salad, and blunt wraps...
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize