How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Dude, don't beat around the bush. We're fucked and you know it.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Randomize
