Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
