you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
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