youre lurking in front of me
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
This just in: I met a girl who does the phone sex phone lines, and shes' 5'4" 320. I'll never get a hardon again through a phone.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
Straight guys just can't stay away. My penis must have pheromones or something.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
