SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
I found half a candy bar in my bra today... Melted to my nipple. What a mess. It was still good though.
I don't remember anything beyond the drinking game but I woke up in my own pee this morning so I'm just gonna go out on a limb and say I overdid it.
Randomize
