allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
If I should ask "why am I still single?" could someone please remind me of shooting mike and ikes out of my nose at the bartender last Saturday. many thanks
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
She's one of those people who could be either 16 or 23. In which case she's too old for me or in dangerously jailbait territory for you, bro.
According to my bank account I spent a penny some where
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
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