CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
