I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Just pulled an upper-decker at a hardware store. I believe I'm winning 8-2. It's obvious you don't shit enough in public.
I swear if it wasn't for meeting for drug dealers @ gas stations, i would never remember to get gas.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Dude, someone puked in my washing machine last night, I tried turning it on to clean it...not a good idea
Our love of vodka is more proof than a maternity test
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