Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I just saw on the news, this guy tried to smuggle coke in a bouquet of roses... and to think I used to hate valentines day.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
You slid down the wall and got into the fetal position. He was definitely judging... I was judging....
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
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