i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Why did the fire extinguisher taste lemony?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
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