i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
