im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
Randomize