yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
On my way home from Vegas. Just realized my pants are inside out
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
He was dressed as ron burgundy and his pickup line was "dont worry, i wont make you jump in a bear pit."
i shit in a pringles can and hid it somewhere in your house....happy hunting
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
