Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I'm not coming to work today because tequila
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
THERE ARE NO EMOJIS TO SHOW MY SEXUAL FRUSTRATION
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Can I come over?
Sorry I gave up dick for lent. Hit me up on Good Friday tho
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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