she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
